The Monster In Me

Author: Maizy Burger

I woke up feeling very funny this morning. I felt tired; very tired. Something happened to me during the night. I do not know what. I tried to move. But there was no response. Something wanted to move but I did not know what. I had legs, arms, a head and body, a mouth, nose, eyes and ears when I went to bed last night. But it felt as though all that had changed somehow.

I tried to move again, first my leg; I tried to swing it out of bed. Something moved, but not a leg. It was… something else. Something slithered off the bed. I lay there with my eyes closed as though I was still asleep. I tried desperately to move my limbs. “I will try my other leg as well” I thought. Something slithered off the bed and another and another. My whole body slipped off the bed and landed on the floor with a flop. Still I did not wake.

My arms felt so tired, I could not move them even though I tried hard. In my mind I tried to lift one but there was no reaction at all.

“Open your eyes so that you can see what’s going on.” I thought.

I tried to force my eyelids open. I pinched them shut and tried to force them open again, but they did not move. I could feel my eyeballs moving around, up and down. But my eyelids stayed closed as though my eyes were not meant to see.

I had to concentrate. Something was wrong.

“Your hands… get your hands working at least.” I thought. “Concentrate!”

Slowly a hand moved. Or what seemed to be a hand, it felt so funny, so small and straight. Then another hand moved and another!

“How many hands do I have?!! No fingers!! I have no fingers!!” My mind shouted.

“For heaven’s sake, do not panic. Pleeease do not panic. Find out what’s wrong. Use the funny hand to discover the rest of your body.” I thought.

One hand felt the other. It felt like a long thin, slimy probe. No joints. Like a long tentacle, dangling.

“I have eight tentacles for arms!!! That’s why I could not move them. My brain was trying to move human arms, not tentacles!!!” My mind said confused.

I wanted to scream. But there was no sound. My mind was screaming. I could feel it. I could hear it. Whaaa…. Whaaa…. I did not understand. I screamed again, louder and louder. Whaaa!…. Whaaa!!…. Whaaa!!! My mouth opened and closed. But no sound immerged. I was terrified and felt claustrophobic and tried to move. Eight tentacles and eight huge long and slimy tubes for legs were slipping and sliding to and fro and around and around on the wooden floor; not getting anywhere.

My chest heaved frantically up and down, panting and gasping for air.

“At least I am breathing! I have a nose; must have lungs as well.” I thought.

I had a heart because it was hammering so hard in my chest and felt as though it wanted to burst out of my mouth.

Eventually I tired and slowly came to rest and realized if I wanted to know what happened to me last night, I would have to relax and except what I am feeling. Then, and only then would I be able to do something about my situation. I forced myself to calm down.

Slowly I moved a tentacle to explore the rest of my body; and slid it over my head. My head felt huge.

“No hair… I must have the biggest brain ever.”

My eyes were big and slanted. Set wide apart, the lids still closed, with a long tiny nose. The nostrils were like pin pricks.

“No wonder breathing was so difficult.”

The long thin finger at the end of my arm moved slowly down to where my mouth should be. There was a small round hole. I stuck my tentacle finger into the hole. It was empty! ... No tongue! ... No teeth! … Just a small hole! …

“I suppose there’s no throat! … That’s why I could not scream. There’s nothing there, just a gaping hole!” I thought and ripped my finger out.

My funny body started to shake. A big black squirming monster lay on the wooden floor shaking; writhing and reeling in a pool of slime. Tentacles for arms and legs swished up and down in the air; my huge head moved from side to side. My mouth gasped for air with my eyes closed tightly, seeing nothing.

I was in shock! Once again I reprimanded myself to stay calm.

“You HAVE to stay calm if you want to find yourself and what happened during the night.” I thought.

My mind moved my arms and legs. It had control over my head and mouth that moved without making a sound. My breathing was fine when I was not stressed. I could hear my heart beating wildly and the gurgling sounds of me rasping for air.

Slowly I calmed down, composed myself and started thinking rationally again.

“I have a huge head with two slanted eyes set far apart with eyelids still closed; a long narrow nose that can hardly breathe and a small hole for a mouth without a tongue or teeth or a throat that can scream. My arms and legs are tentacles with feelers on the ends that dangle up and down and to and fro. But what about my body?! It is there but how does it look? I feel it moving from time to time.” I thought.

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